What I Don’t Know.

I do not know where I will be in the future. I do not know what I will be doing, where I will be staying, whom I will be living with, how much money I will be earning. There are things I would like to do, but I don’t know for certain what will happen in the future. There are some things however that I do know about the future. Firstly, that God will be with me (Hebrews 13:5), whether I am rich or poor, he will be with me. Secondly, God will still love me (Romans 8:39-39), his love never changes: he won’t love me any more or any less, he loves me right now as much as he ever will.  That’s all I’m sure of.

Six years ago I had left school and was looking for a job. I didn’t do A-Levels or go to college. I was very unsure, not knowing where I would be in a few years, feeling useless and under qualified. Perhaps if I got any job I could work my way up and become a manager in a couple of years. Now, 6 years later I’ve submitted a dissertation for a theology degree. This is not where I ever thought I would be. It is something I still feel under qualified to have done. My school attendance was severely low, but at university it was almost perfect. The only reason I am where I am today is because God brought me here. My own plans were no good, they would have left me in the worldly cycle of ‘work, earn, retire, die’. God equips those he calls (2 Peter 1:3 and Ephesians 1:3).

It isn’t until I knew my own plans were no good, when I was in a very stressful job managing shareholdings, that God could really start to take me places. I knew I wanted to serve him, but I didn’t know in what way. Proverbs 16:9 says, ‘the human mind plans the way, but the Lord directs the steps’, and Proverbs 20:24 reads ‘all our steps are ordered by the Lordhow then can we understand our own ways?’ We don’t need to know exactly where we are going, but as long as each step is in-step with the Lord, we will get where we need to be. I must remember this as I try not to be anxious for my future.

God bless you and keep you always.

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